facinating saintly facts

[Fez]

some fascinating facts about ten saints (plus st fiarce with an honoury mention):-

ST CATHERINE, PATRON SAINT OF WHEELWRIGHTS AND PHILOSOPHERS ? condemned to death on a spiked spinning wheel, divine providence intervened in her execution causing the wheel to break in a shower of sparks and crushed her persecutors as it rolled away. the ever so slightly pissed emperor had catherine removed from the wheel before she could escape and had her beheaded, whereupon milk flowed from her severed arteries.

ST SWITHUN ? to demonstrate his awesome self-control, swithun liked to sleep between two beautiful virgins and was never tempted?of course, history only has his word for this.

ST SIMEON THE STYLITE ? to prove his faith, famously simeon spent thirty years living on top of a stone column, spending a whole year at one point standing on one leg just because he could. to further demonstrate his divinity he tied a rope tightly around his waist so that the lower half of his body became putrefied from lack of blood, and then ate the maggots announcing, ?eat what god gives you.? he subsequently passed out but was revived with a few lettuce leaves ? his great exhibition of faith finally ended when weakened by hunger he fell from the pillar of stone to his death.

ST CATHERINE OF SIENA ? overcoming her fear of bubonic plague, catherine drank a whole bowl of pus. dipping chips anyone?

ST APOLLONIA, PATRON SAINT OF DENTISTS ? this patron of the most evil of nhs services achieved martyrdom by having each one of her teeth ripped from her mouth by a mob of egyptians when she refused to renounce her christian faith.

ST LAWERENCE, PATRON SAINT OF ROTISSEURS ? roasted alive on a spit, st lawrence faced his own death heroically by telling his executioners; ?turn me over, i?m cooked on this side.?

ST AGATHA, PATRON SAINT OF MALTA, BELL-MAKERS, DISEASES OF THE BREAST, EARTHQUAKES, FIRE AND STERILITY ? in the third century st agatha was sent to prison and had her breasts cut off whereupon they were restored by divine intervention. she was then sent to a brothel but retained her virginity, was burned at the stake but failed to catch light, before finally being beheaded by the enraged authorities. on the isle of sicily, st agatha?s day is celebrated with an enormous pair of ceremonial breasts being paraded through the streets.

ST DENIS, PATRON OF SYPHILIS AND THE CITY OF PARIS ? not to be confused with st fiacre, the patron saint of non-specific venereal diseases.

ST EULAMPINS & ST EULAMPIA ? the brother and sister martyrs survived being boiled in oil and thus converted 200 astonished onlookers to christianity on the spot. the 200 new converts were then beheaded along with eulampins and eulampia for the crime of being christian ? gotta love those romans!

ST WILLIAM OF FENOLI ? returning one day from the fields with his trusty mule in tow, quick-thinking william was attacked by a gang of robbers but defended himself valiantly by ripping a leg off his mule and clubbing his attackers to death with it. he then prayed for the leg of his favoured pet to be restored and continued home once the mule had all its legs in full working order.

[mr_e]

What can I say? I am in awe of your saintly fact-finding abilities. How many of these are actually true, though?

[Mike]

What can I say? I am in awe of your saintly fact-finding abilities. How many of these are actually true, though?

That might be lost to the eons of history. . . . :D

[Mark Scollon]

I know that St Catherine (of the wheelwrights) is the person after whom the Catherine Wheel firework is named. Didn't know why till I read this though. Thanks for the increased knowledge.