rileyuk.co.uk

1. punch a dolphin - cheaper than swimming with them
2. skinny dipping with a great white shark
3. drink a yard of vodka
4. paint your ass red and streak at a bullfight
5. phone crimewatch and admit to being jack the ripper
6. give the world's oldest man birthday beats

more suggestions welcome - mike has agreed to do everything we can come up with!

7. replace your mum's birth control pills with tic-tacs
8. (one for the boys) smear your bits with mint sauce and bum a sheep
9. write your resignation, stick it to a brick and throw it through your boss' office window.
10. kill time by writing lots of pointless lists

Must re...sist...

Had to scrap an alternative number eight for the laydees which involved aniseed and dogs.

11. Increase post count on Mike's forums.

11. Increase post count on Mike's forums.

To what dare I ask?

who

cares

12 - Become a Superior Master on the Forums. (Yellow pips yay!)
13 - Take over the world by 25 (damn I don't have much time left to totally overwhelm erm, the world!)
14 - Say Boo to a Goose (don't ask me why)
15 - Visit Mars - eat lots of Mars bars and giggle about eating a product called mars on mars. :?
16 - Win the Eurolottery or national lottery and be bugged for cash for the rest of your life.

17) Visit 'the local' so often that the barman says 'the usual' to you as soon as you walk in.
18) Do the Monopoly board pub crawl (not like Red Dwarf - but that would be cool)
19) Walk into Macdonalds and say 'Hey you spotty oik, I want a burger and I want it now! Move it grease face!''.
20) Sing 'The Sound of Music' at the top of any Northern hillside.
21) Smoke a very strong Cuban cigar.
22) Taste all of the Scottish Single Malts - (64 to go at the last count).
23) Be able to effectively play American pool - I've tried for six years and I'm still crap.
24) Go to the place that is directly on the other side of the world. Therefore, you actually stand in at the furthest point away from where you could be. (I know it's from 'The Truman Show' but I love that film). Unfortunately, I think ours is the middle of the Pacific. Which is a bit of a bugger.

25. lunge wildly at the pope
26. paint a large target on the roof of the whitehouse
27. ask a homeless person if they've got change for a fiver
28. try to surf in a water fountain
29. buy a bag of penny toffees and pay with a cheque
30. picket downing street demanding equal rights for hedgehogs

31. Hug a monkey

32. spend a day narrating your own life like you were a character in a poorly made tv-movie

33) Demand the receipt for a crap Christmas present
34) Utter the following lines very loudly ''this will increase my rating on eBay''
35) Shout ''WTF were you thinking when you walked out of the house today. Did you own a mirror?'' at a bunch of chavs.
36) Break as a 16yearold moped driver is behind you causing him to crash into you and fly into the air. Thus ensuring the little twonk will never do it again

37) Drive a 4metre van very fast over a very windy bridge. It is a deffo brown alert sort of moment.

38. spend a day referring to everyone you meet as brian
39. re-arrange motorway cones to block ever lane except the hard shoulder.
40. shave a cat and tell some young children you've found an alien baby.

Fez wrote:25. lunge wildly at the pope

Been watching Bill Bailey by any chance Fez? Just bought his 'Part Troll' DVD- haven't laughed so much in ages.