Love is . . . . .

Post by **Mike** » Sun Mar 04, 2007 3:53 pm

Two pasties from 'The Real Pasty Company' for ?4.99.

Fez · Post by **Fez** » Sun Mar 04, 2007 3:58 pm

...a lie put about by the catholic church so the race will keep on procreating

Post by **johnriley1uk** » Sun Mar 04, 2007 4:05 pm

I know the meaning of love. It means you haven't scored any points in tennis.

mr_e · Post by **mr_e** » Sun Mar 04, 2007 4:17 pm

Those had better be really big pasties for that price. And have caviar in or something.

Andy · Post by **Andy** » Sun Mar 04, 2007 11:26 pm

all around us.

I know this because......

I feel it in my fingers.
I feel it in my toes.
The love that's all around me
And so the feeling grows
It's written on the wind
It's everywhere I go

So if you really love me
Come on and let it show

mr_e · Post by **mr_e** » Sun Mar 04, 2007 11:34 pm

Tell me you had to look that up before you quoted it, please? As a side note, it sounds like the "love" they're talking about may well be frostbite and hypothermia.

Andy · Post by **Andy** » Sun Mar 04, 2007 11:53 pm

Technically yes.

The reason I state ''technically'' is because we have been told by senior management to deliver form assemblies. I have Year 11 and after 4 1/2 years of chatter and banter they were rather unhappy at being told they had to participate in them. Therefore, I was faced with a dilemma - I had to deliver it but didn't want to and had to make kids listen that didn't want to. My only option was to take the piss. It worked. My form listened and smirked as I regurgitated Wet Wet Wet in a matter-of-fact tone and then shut up as I put on Love Actually for the final 5 mins. The form assembly on 'Being Yourself' where I gave them the 'Great Pretender' lyrics by Freddie Mercury was a success as well. Yet again, I obviously took the piss. It works and I will keep on doing it.

Anyway, back to the topic of the thread.
I often think poetry can be the main source of imagery and description that can sum up our feelings. This poem by the excellent Salford poet John Cooper Clarke really did make me tickle when I heard him do it a few years ago at PoetryLive. It isn't as good on paper as when he does it live because his accent and tone just make it brilliant. (Well, after Imtiaz Dharker, anything is brilliant really.) But he's good so read it people -

I Wanne Be Yours.

I wanna be your vacuum cleaner
breathing in your dust
I wanna be your Ford Cortina
I will never rust
If you like your coffee hot
let me be your coffee pot
You call the shots
I wanna be yours

I wanna be your raincoat
for those frequent rainy days
I wanna be your dreamboat
when you want to sail away
Let me be your teddy bear
take me with you anywhere
I don?t care
I wanna be yours

I wanna be your electric meter
I will not run out
I wanna be the electric heater
you?ll get cold without
I wanna be your setting lotion
hold your hair in deep devotion
Deep as the deep Atlantic ocean
that?s how deep is my devotion

Other poems worth checking out by this unconventional poet are 'Action Man', 'Readers' Wives', 'You Never See a Nipple in the Daily Express' and 'Twat' to name but a few. Highly amusing. Worth reading and worth watching if he ever comes back to Manchester.

Fez · Post by **Fez** » Mon Mar 05, 2007 1:50 am

sounds neat - does he have a collection in print?

Andy · Post by **Andy** » Mon Mar 05, 2007 7:25 am

With regards to publishing his poetry, Clarke is different in the fact that it rarely goes into print (from what I can gather) and mainly publishes his poetry ''albums'' on CD. Which, personally, I think is good because a good poem read by the poet contains the feelings behind it, etc. The only example I can give is Agard's Half-Caste which I thought was OK until I heard him do it live and then I was in awe of it, especially because he stood on one leg doing it and his tone of delivery was superb. Anyway, here are the lists of albums.

O? est la maison de fromage, s?l vous plait
Disguise in Love
Walking Back to Happiness
Snap, Crackle & Bop
Me and My Big Mouth
Zip Style Method

(You can buy them on Amazon for about ?7 each if you want)

If you just want to read it then I'd check out Cooper Clarke on the web - especially for his jokes. The Burnley ones are good for one-liners - ''I asked for a suite with a view. They gave me a polo mint.'' etc

http://www.cyberspike.com/clarke/thejokes.html

His ''Burnley poem'' is also good as well. You can check out the majority of his poems at

http://www.cyberspike.com/clarke/poemlist.html

I'd also recommend ''Letters to Fiesta'' - it is gross but hilarious!

seaflower · Post by **seaflower** » Mon Mar 05, 2007 2:13 pm

whatever you want it to be!

Fez · Post by **Fez** » Mon Mar 05, 2007 4:43 pm

er, seaflower, what are you on about? oh, the love is thing right.

love is...the girl who lives across the street leaving the blinds up when she takes a shower!

no that's never really happened, but a man can dream

Post by **johnriley1uk** » Mon Mar 05, 2007 5:14 pm

It might not have happened to you, Fez, but that doesn't mean it never happens.....

Engaging imagination now....

John Knight · Post by **John Knight** » Mon Mar 05, 2007 8:18 pm

Pasties are great but curry is better and for your two pasties i can get 3 curries (2 meat, 1 veg),rice and a naan and 50p change. Oh yeah possibly the best curries in Manchester.

That's This and That love.

Post by **Mike** » Tue Mar 06, 2007 8:12 am

You should also try Kababish on Dale street - very yummie. :D

BarcelonAl · Post by **BarcelonAl** » Thu Mar 08, 2007 9:08 am

According to the Kaiser Chiefs, love is not a competition...