a chocolate rant

Fez · Post by **Fez** » Sat Dec 30, 2006 2:53 am

before i begin i would like to make it absolutely clear i adore chocolate, i like to taste it, munch it, lick it, suck on it, there are things i would do to chocolate that are illegal in alabama but would make me a star in the clubs of soho. so what's the problem? this festive period has brought a bumper supply of the brown gold beyond my usual 150g bars of galaxy; i've had selection boxes, advent calenders, foreign chocolates with funny names and lacquers - and endless wrapping on all of it.

in particular i got a box of dark chocolate slices, as they the manufacturer insisted on calling them, 28 in all each individually wrapped not just in foil but also in their own individual sealled paper envelopes - it took longer to open the damn things than it did to eat them! why for the love of god was there so much padding for such a little treasure? was it just to hike up the price, to give a misplaced sense of granduer to something that was made on a monolithic conveyor belt in the east-midlands? why i ask you, why?

but that's not the end of my chargrin with the chocolate producers of the world, oh no. lacquers people, lacquers, just however many do you have to eat/drink before you can get drunk on these things because i kid you not, mine had a health warning on the box about the dangers of alcohol abuse. once you got past the jack daniels, southern comfort and malibo, the list of recognisable brand names plummeted to some cheap vodka made in a shed somewhere in the badlands of eastern europe.

all i wanted was a sugar rush that will probably bring on the inevitable diabetes related death in years to come, and instead what i got was endless foil wrapping paper and some foreign sounding lacquer that they probably use for engine lubricant in slovenia. oh, and that bitch at work who's the school's head govenor bought me a box of ferraro roche - is it just me of does this shit taste like mothballs?

Post by **Mike** » Sat Dec 30, 2006 9:26 am

Style over content.

Overused in a lot of places. Such as the Advanced Diploma blah - the one prize was not for the quality of the submission but how pretty it looked. . . .

mr_e · Post by **mr_e** » Sat Dec 30, 2006 12:15 pm

In some cases, I like the packaging, because it encourages people to eat the chocolates more slowly and savour them. Of course, if the chocolates are mutton dressed as lamb, then it's a bit of a let down.

Two or three nice chocolate makers I might recommend would be Butler's (chunky things, my sister got some), Hotel Chocolat, and La Maison Du Chocolate (expensive). Maybe Green & Black's for everyday consumption.

I've never been a fan of chocolate liqueurs, the only vaguely nice ones I've ever had are cherry-ish.

(Edited for appalling spelling)

Claire · Post by **Claire** » Sat Dec 30, 2006 4:48 pm

However it comes, i say.
Although may i suggest a Terry's Chocolate Orange. Yes, the box and plastic bit are somewhat superfluous but when you get to "Tap and Unwrap" it, that's actually packaging that should make you less angry, rather than more. n'est pas? but don't tap it, WHACK IT!!!!!!!!!!!

Andy · Post by **Andy** » Mon Jan 01, 2007 11:28 am

I have to say I quite like Ferrero Rocher.

Packaging can be anal but it does create a nice present and sometimes makes it look more than it is worth - i.e. when you buy them from Netto or LiDL.

mr_e · Post by **mr_e** » Mon Jan 01, 2007 1:01 pm

Fez, I do always think Ferrero Rocher taste a bit "different", although they aren't really chocolate for the most part, more praline, plus there's a shedload of nuttiness in them.

Post by **Mike** » Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:22 pm

We were taunting mr_e over the weekend with the prospect of visiting Hotel Chocolat. He decided to beg not to go in the end to save A) His wallet and B) his sanity.

Chocoholics rule!

mr_e · Post by **mr_e** » Mon Jan 15, 2007 7:59 pm

*Drools*

I do like Hotel Chocolat, largely because they're a nice compromise between insanely expensive and super-cheap supermarket own brands. I also like the chocolate a lot. Oh, yes. Although it does sort of contradict my healthy eating resolution. Damn.

John Knight · Post by **John Knight** » Mon Jan 15, 2007 9:09 pm

I don't really eat a lot of chocolate. Don't get me wrong I love it but give me savory anyday.

A a result i eat very little shite choco cos i don't really see the point. Give me Green and Blacks milk chocolate and I'll eat the bar.

Just avoid the rubbish and tasteless sugar based junk and you can't go wrong.